This one's about to be as womanish and PMS-ey as the books, but I won't stop my thoughts. Best thing for me is to let it out, until it hurts to have ever kept it inside in the first place.
I need to stop blaming myself for my own insecurities that derive from a past of limited lovers who never truly cared for me. What's so wrong about not trusting people? It's the people who put in too much faith in another person who end up getting more hurt.
Right?
Come aan, we can agree to this.
This comes from way left field here, but I can't help but wonder how many times I trusted someone or watched a friend trust a man who said he was one thing and ended up being something else entirely. I'm not an advocate of misandry; I don't live my life denying every opportunity I get with a guy simply because I'm afraid of what might happen. I know myself well enough to know that I pounce on most opportunities that please me, yet there is an inherent unwillingness inside to prohibit any onset of over-familiarity with a person.
It is so damn endearing to watch the people around me in love, or we can call it a teenage hoax of obsession and gift-giving our society likes to call love.
Wow, that was all angst right there. Attention the presses, Rucha's on a motherfucking roll, everyone.
I can't take anyone's intentions with me seriously. Should I blame myself, though? For choosing the men that I know deep down will never actually want me for me? It delves into how men behave in general and how the typical college guy isn't willing to commit and blah blah all the bullshit we've heard and known for years. Girls know this shit, they eat it for breakfast, man. Moreover, what concerns me most is how easily I've come to terms with how nice it is that every guy I have chosen has never allowed any feelings to really develop between us. Sure know how to pick 'em!
Guess I really lucked out with these guys, huh?
