Color My Life with the CHAOS of Trouble

As the old year whispers its sweet nothings into my ear for the last time, I have all but twenty-two minutes to speak before the new year. The new decade in this millennium will begin, and I have to say that I am no where near ready. Life is, essentially, flashing before my eyes. I yearn to discover the exact reason as to why I am situated in my corner of the world, and for who. Writing my everyday thoughts clear the muddled pathway to understanding, and I am more than thankful for the select few that decide to read my words, no matter how meaningless they may seem.

The clock ticks. Fifteen minutes.

All I must say is that after this year, things will be different, at least for me. Letting go of the most distracting things, such as Facebook, has been a mind-cleanser. I can write what I feel, and what I want to feel, rather than stare incessantly at photos of people I neither really know nor care about. Before I know it, two valuable hours of my life have passed by, and for what achievement? I gain nothing by wallowing in my self-pity and loneliness. Here is where I have my own small slice of the "world's" (apple) pie, a single yet substantial place set out only for me. And my thoughts that I carry.

So bloggers and writers of the world, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Have a wonderful and prosperous New Year, 2011.

-  -  -

Eleven minutes remain, and the clock that ticks in time and tune with my eager heart will strike a new beginning.

A Subconscious Movement

❤

Today, she found her one to fall for. Today, she was a raindrop, among millions of others, pattering on rooftops and sidewalks, upon the vinyl heads of umbrellas and blades of grass.

Ask me what the perfect morning tastes like, and I'll say: her lips. They melt the cool silence with none other than a a soft, feathery kiss.

She lies beside me, her eyes closed and fingers intertwined with each other in a tangled ball of tan flesh. 
Softly, I hear her heartbeat echo, in time with mine. I feel the rhythmic thrum fixate my mind into a blissful calm, an inexplicable yet relaxing aura of...her.
Her voice, her scent, it surrounds me. It seems silly to say that she is what keeps my mind attuned to life.
My tether to reality, my lifeline to consciousness. 


Allow me a lifetime with perfection. Just a bittersweet love story for me to fall for, or a tale of immense sorrow to allow tears to trickle down my face. Give me life, for we all know she did. The melodies that she sang she drew from her heart. Not to entertain, but to mend. She knew her power well, and abused it at times.


But I knew it was all for good. I was nothing without her smiles. I am nothing without her.


Oh, bleccch. I only wish I had those words to say to someone. How utterly sappy would that be? I ask myself this infamous question almost on a day-to-day basis: What would my ideal lifestyle be, with or without a significant other? I say with.

I mean, who would be there to keep me from doing the most idiotic of things as I roam the vast expanses of the world? Who would be there to share it with me? I don't think I could live at peace with just myself. Everyone needs someone. I remember my father used to tell me an obscure story that had to do with my religion when I was a child, right before I went to bed. It had to do with all humans being born with counterparts that were set before birth. Their ultimate goal was to find that completion of their soul, and to keep the cycle of humanity ongoing and incessant. Of course, it was just a story of lore and religious beliefs, yet I find that all life works that way.

The only reason we aim to look our best each and every morning is to seem appealing to that counterpart, hidden somewhere in the world. Almost like a jewel, yet there is only one that is the most valuable. Animals do it as well, just to keep the species living. As far-fetched humans want to go with an explanation, the most primitive is the best-fitting reason as to why we are here: to reproduce. Just like an amoeba, or a sea nettle jellyfish.

I move and speak in my sleep. It's true. It's like my dreams feel so much like a reality to me that I need to embrace them fully, with words and actions. There are times where I wish my dreams were a reality.

On that note, now I want to watch Inception.

As for the time being, I'll just stare into the white panorama of frost that surrounds my house.